myindia

By: Nisha Grayson

The MYINDIA crew made it back to the States safely. I have not kept you updated for awhile because a lot has happened and I needed to keep all of it to myself for awhile before I had the courage to share it to you all. Forgive me. So now I am ready to open my heart again and share everything that happened once we got back into Goa.

It was so nice to get back into our apartment. Victor had to head back to the states for work. Hitesh left to visit with his family a few weeks later. So it was just Reena, Sharmila, and I for most of this journey.

On my way to the airport in San Francisco, I mailed a letter to Bonnie, who owned my orphanage in Caranzalem. I told her that I was in search of my birth mother and needed some advice and information, if she had any. I was not sure if I had the right address, but I was hopeful that the letter would get to her. She contacted me and she needed me to confirm some personal information to verify who I really was. I returned the information back to Bonnie and she proceeded to tell me about the orphanage and life in India 26 years ago. She did share a few stories that i will take with me forever. Bonnie assured me that it is possible to search for my mother but gave me the advice to be very careful and cautious due to my mothers circumstances at the time she gave birth to me. She proceeded to tell me that I should enjoy Goa as much as possible.

So I planned to enjoy Goa as much as possible. My adoption records stated where I was born. I visited the Mandovi Clinic on October 22^nd. One of the nurses that were there that day began working at the clinic a year before I was born. She mentioned that she might have helped with my delivery. She gave me a tour of the clinic and showed me the one and only delivery room.

Less than a week later on the 26^th, I visited the local Goan library and researched the June 11^th 1983 edition of the local Newspaper, Navhind Times.

On November 3^rd, I decided to get a copy of my original birth certificate. The girls and I had to ride our scooters through town, down the hills, and through the fields to get to the birth and death records office in Pilerne. It only cost me 5 RS. Amruta’s name was on it, but my birth father’s name is unknown. We also visited Susan Furtado’s office, a local adoption lawyer in Panjim; I asked a few basic questions about adoption 25 years ago. She proceeded to inform me about the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) www.cara.nic.in and the laws within India. She also shared with me how important it is to conceal the identity of birth mothers in India because social expectations and standards of women are completely different than those abroad. It was a little discouraging to hear, but I knew that I must continue.

The next day, we went to a local orphanage to get some insight on the current adoption process in Goa. We visited Mother Teresa orphanage and did not get the response that we were hoping for. We talked to a Sister and asked for an interview. She refused right away and told us that information is confidential. We continued to tell her that we were in search for basic information about the rules and regulations of adoption, and nothing personal about the children at her orphanage. So I got a little personal about my story in hopes that she would feel a little pity and open up to us. Her response was that I need to search God and that nothing else mattered. She caught us off guard a little and then we knew it was hopeless.

During our last week in Goa, we met a wonderful family who I shared my story with. My new dear friend, Tony said that he knew of my orphanage and he took me to the old house in Caranzalem. I got to walk through my first home. It was wonderful to see where I lived the first six months of my life.

To sum it all up, I had a very successful visit. I got to see with my own eyes everything that I have been dreaming about. Now I am very proud to say that I KNOW where I come from and I KNOW what it means to be a Goan woman. More than anything, I KNOW a little bit more about Amruta. Whether I found her or not, that is only for me to know now, but something that you all have to look forward to once our documentary is released.